About Ellen

Sex has always fascinated me. Maybe it's because as a teenager, my dad got sick and was no longer able to have sex. Something my mother continued to complain about for the next 20+ years.

It seems when I'm around a group of women, we always end up talking about sex. This started when I was in high school. I'd have in depth conversations with my friends' mothers about sex. I was shocked to learn that more than one of them had never had an orgasm. This was something I didn't even think was possible. All women had orgasms, didn't they? That's what all the books said.

When I became a mother, the discussions continued. Many with how women had to put up with their husbands and had sex with them just to "get them off their backs". Again this left me wondering what was wrong with society. Why wouldn't women want to have sex with their husbands???

When interviewing older women, 60+, I found that many of them had never had orgasms. In fact, it wasn't really something they talked about. They spent a majority of their life frustrated. Most of them would laugh when they talked about birth control. So when birth control was a problem, the solution was easy, just don't have sex. And women were fine with this. They weren't really getting anything out of it anyway. It was really quite sad. And these women were supposedly having sex during the sexual revolution of the 1970s.

Nonetheless, they certainly spent enough time and energy watching chick flicks with awesome sex scenes and reading romance novels with steamy scenes. How could they then not want to have sex with their spouses?

The answer came the longer I was married. Kids happen. Exhaustion happens. The trash doesn't get taken out and the energy to put into sex is just too much...or so I thought.

So, I guess, I like talking about sex. I believe that if men actually get their heads out of the useless how to be better in bed books, which don't really help men become better in bed, and pay attention to their wives, the world will be a happier place.

I know my world and my home are happier places. I know my husband, Dickie, feels loved and wanted. I wake up every morning and look at him, smile and think, he's mine and I love him, forever.

It is a process to get there and I'd like to help!


Ellen J. Macafee